arguingProverbs 17:14 
Beginning a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.

Do you know how to avoid an argument?  Yes readers, I know; in the heat of the moment it seems hard to remember rules about communication because so many things are going through our head.  Recently someone accused me of being proud and arrogant or something.   One thing that grates me is that I can’t stand to be misunderstood.  But the Lord, in His wisdom and humor, has sent me through numerous misunderstandings in an attempt to cure me of this problem.  It would seem He could find another way, but no.  The Lord calls us off the bench and sends us into the game, whether we’re not ready or not (and of course, he always knows when we’re ready).   This particular incident was one of the Lord’s surprise moments.   So when the person accused me, I was shocked because I didn’t realize they felt like that and I didn’t understand how they came to that conclusion.  The more they explained their point of view, the more misjudged I felt.  As much as I teach about staying calm in situations like this, in that moment my feelings of shock overwhelmed me and  I was not even sure how to answer this person.   It was over something that my Pastor asked me to do, but they chose to blame me about it anyway.  So as I tried to explain my actions, their friend who was there jumped in the conversation and told me I was wrong etc.  Oh yeah, I forgot to mention—they brought help.   The person was blaming me for something that was not my fault and as much as I tried to explain that they were talking to the wrong person, I could see they were intent on blaming me. Oh boy! In those moments, all kinds of things were going through my head to say, and I mean scriptures too, but God told me to leave it alone for now.  Sometimes, when you see you can’t get anywhere, what’s the point?

Have you ever walked away from a fight?  The scripture above tells us that sometimes we should.  There are times people just want to get stuff off their chest.  Let them.  Be the bigger person.   I‘ve learned that I don’t have to respond to everything. Sometimes, let God talk to the person, He can help them understand better than me and my scriptures.   I know, it’s tough, but if you want to leave some conversations in a peaceful manner, you have to drop the matter.  Words can hurt and cause a rift where there doesn’t need to be any.

Bottom Line: In some cases, we have to learn to shut up and get out of the conversation while the getting is good.

Author: Renee

I am an author and a retired minister. My passion is helping others find their sense of self and identity after so many years of losing my own. So often we go to church and are still not aware of our disconnection with our true selves. The person inside that God deeply values. My husband and I have been married for over 30 years and have 3 children. I love gourmet cooking, swimming, all kinds of music, and political and religious discussion- the two things my mom said never to talk about at the dinner table.