It’s Between You and God

God held me when I cried and struggled –He understood why.

I gave my life to God with joy and He understood.

I joined a church that seemed filled with love I had never experienced; people that paid attention to you — God took me from an agnostic to a true believer.  God knew what I needed.

God Loves youI lived and believed their doctrine and rules—God understood why.

I got married and raised my children under their strict teaching — and God knew why.

God called me to teach and preach under their banner –and He knew why.

Then one day, I realized the deep flaws in my church, it’s ways of teaching, and the hypocrisy in the way it was held –God understood that and I didn’t.

I was so blinded to these things for so many years —  God knew why.

One day, I had enough.  I asked my Pastor for a sabbatical – -God understood why.

I stopped my church activities, preaching, and positions and struggled with things we were teaching and holding people to live, I ask questions but got no response — God showed me why.

God held me when I cried and struggled –He understood.

jesus lovesI left my beloved church – God knew why.

For a while, after I left, I was just tired of religion and church after 30 years of being the “perfect” Christian –and God understood why.

For a while, I couldn’t bear committing to a church.  I would simply visit, enjoy fellowship, and go home — and God understood why.

I didn’t trust organized religion — and God understood why.

I didn’t trust myself that I would go too far with religion again  – and God understood why.

I was angry at myself, angry at God for not showing me sooner, and angry at lost time – and God understood.

I didn’t feel much like reading my Bible or praying—and God understood.

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The idea of starting a Bible study or recovery group was there and it sounded good, but I wasn’t emotionally ready for that.   God knew that.

I still had a lot to learn– about me — and God knew it.

God has brought me back full circle and ignited my love for him again and showed me how to approach him– the right way this time–He understood when.

He waited on me to recover and re-gain my bearings – He understood how.

God has kept me in love with Him; I’m a real person, a valuable person,  with the heart of a healer, and a wiser person; He showed me who I was and where I’ve been, deepened my relationships, given me true friends and a new zest for life and hope for the future.

He loves me and He understands the whys.

 

 

 

Truth Be Told

I’d like to tackle a particular scripture that says  God will not hear the prayer of sinners. Those that take a literalist view of scripture will say that it means what it says without reference to context and the character of God.   One of the greatest detriments to the gospel is teachers that don’t fully explain scriptures but simply repeat them the way they heard them.   There has to come a time when Bible teachers reconcile real Christian life with scriptural fallacies. Continue reading “Truth Be Told”

Story #4 – Live Interview – A Story of Recovery from a Church of God Childhood – Part 1

This is a beautiful and touching story of recovery from a religious system with a damaging atmosphere.  This interview was conducted with a young lady who was saved as a child only to realize that several detrimental things from the church followed her and others into their adult lives.

  1.  She mourns very little connection with her natural blood relatives.  The church was considered her family where holidays and other times were not spent knowing her relatives.
  2. John 9:31 that God does not hear sinners’ prayers was drummed into the doctrine to such a point that often some adults from the church have trouble praying to God because they feel God will not hear them. (I want to address this later in a separate blog.  This was taught incorrectly and out of context).
  3. She remembers it as a male-dominated religion where the women and children did most of the suffering. (I remember a Joliet, IL Pastor of our group gathered young men together to apologize to them for things they endured as children, but it was an all-male meeting when overall girls suffered disproportionately more troubles to adhere to standards)
  4. She remembers the strong focus on God as a God of judgment and not much emphasis on God’s love.

approx. 15 minutes

Story #3 Reclaiming Childhood After Religious Abuse

In our religion, having control over your children was seen as a ticket to heaven. This is the case for many parents in fundamentalist churches and belief systems. The theology is that God entrusts the child’s soul into your hands and you as the parent are responsible for bringing up the child in the fear of God. Unfortunately, what should be a beautiful thing becomes tainted with someone’s personal ideology of child rearing. Continue reading “Story #3 Reclaiming Childhood After Religious Abuse”

Story #1 – Get Rid of The Children

The following is a written story of an incident that caused this Christian to be traumatized at a time when love was needed most. 

Spiritual abuse can involve being targeted by authority figures and humiliated by a community of people based on the influence of its leaders.

The following is a written story of an incident that caused this Christian to be traumatized at a time when love and understanding was needed most. Continue reading “Story #1 – Get Rid of The Children”