Mature Christianity

13 For everyone who partakes only of milk is not accustomed to the word of righteousness, for he is an infant. 14 But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil. Hebrews 5:13-14

To reach maturity every person must experience life and making decisions.  Take a toddler for example.   When a child is 1 or 2 and just beginning to experience the world we make a lot of decisions for them.  We have to guard them from hurting themselves.  This is the appropriate age where a child can get into everything harmful but as that child grows into maturity, you can set near a pool, or a stove or even them have them outside without them running into traffic.  Why? Because they have practice and making decisions about what is bad and what is good for them.   As they grow, its no longer the burning themselves on the stove that you worry about, it’s the more mature decisions about sex ,friends and life-changing habits that come into the picture. Continue reading “Mature Christianity”

What Exactly is Spiritual Abuse?

My husband and I were discussing what exactly defines spiritual abuse and why is it so bad? In my estimation, spiritual or religious abuse happens when religion is used, not for the spiritual benefit of the individual, but solely for the gain of the organization and its leaders. Scriptures and principles are turned on their head and used in a way to manipulate, coerce, force and extort actions out of the person being used. What is supposed to be holy, is used in a way that can result in financial, emotional, physical and sometimes psychological harm. What is so horrible about this is in the church realm is that people give a very special part of themselves (soul and spirit, not to mention time and effort they can never recover) to know more about God. The knowledge of God is tied to our eternal destiny, and many times people are willing to give up all, and open their hearts to obtain what they perceive as the ultimate prize, eternal paradise.

Continue reading “What Exactly is Spiritual Abuse?”

Candy Crush and Recovery

Call me crazy, but I was laying in bed and thinking about my recent therapy session and the progress I had made in this particular session. I was so happy, but it was hard work going backward and feeling certain things about incidents that caused shame in my upbringing. As I often do, I was playing Candy crush before I dozed off to sleep, and I noticed the connections between Candy Crush and recovery from dysfunction. Continue reading “Candy Crush and Recovery”

Now, About Those Other Sheep

Let’s take God out of the box.

The idea of that one church, religious group, or denomination has a lock on God is ludicrous. The idea that God will only lead a person to one church organization is equally not supported by scripture. Frankly, when a person lets Christ into their heart and life, nothing else is needed, they are already a member of God’s church. God never says, “Now find a Pastor from _________church, and then you’ll be alright.”

Continue reading “Now, About Those Other Sheep”

Shedding Perfectionism

As I’m sitting here eating the whole wheat tortilla that tastes like the lotion in my purse, I’m realizing some things.  Success in life is about reaching personal, internal goals, and on our way up that hill, everything is not going to go as planned. Perfection is an illusion. For example, today my usual routine (my planned and perfect routine)  had been filling  my belly up with fruit in the morning. However, having to get my granddaughter to daycare (let’s blame her) and losing track of time (that’s grandma), I rushed out of the house and barely got to work on time. Hence, the lotion infused tortilla. It’s OK though,  that I didn’t do my perfect plan because that’s life.

The more I learn about myself on my healing journey, the more I realize how insidious perfectionist tendencies can be.  

By the way, I am down another 2 lbs. since the last post.  Hooray for me!  Suck on that 56 year old metabolism!

downloadI was at a Toastmasters meeting last night and as I sat in the room, I realized how uncomfortable I felt.  It was not them at all. It was me. I tend to feel uncomfortable in a room full of people but I wondered why? I’m a great one-on-one conversationalist, but small crowds scare me.  Not large ones mind you, because I’ve preached to hundreds of people at a time (so weird how that works) and amazingly it’s easier than the small crowd for me.  The problem is my internal insecurities. It’s all in my head.  Call me crazy, but I keep feeling people are judging my every move in those situations.  Even more so if it’s people I don’t know.  The feeling overwhelms me that I’m going to say the wrong thing, that I won’t be witty enough or that I’ll be judged by something stupid I blurted out. 

download (1)The worst part is that in a smaller group,  I can actually see and feel their reaction.  So, my tendency is just to stay quiet in those situations.  I smile and nod so they won’t notice me too much.  But I want to get better and conquer this part of my life.  I’m adult!  Enough of the high school/elementary school feelings that come flooding back to me.

There’s a portion of the meeting where someone throws out a topic and on the spot a volunteer has to give a 1-2 minute speech on the subject.  So I decided to be brave tonight and get practice doing this. I did OK, but I felt so unsure of myself doing it.  I wouldn’t say I failed, but I just didn’t do as well as I would have liked. I’m sure I was at least average.

So here’s a goal I need to work on: being a better off-the-cuff speaker.  Fear has to go.

I am learning that perfectionism creates fear and fear stops me from growing.

If you don’t acknowledge the need to change, how can you grow and become better? Change takes daily acknowledgement, making intentional statements to yourself and making decisions to DO the actions that will make the change a part of your life.

This is my new quote this week:

The difference between failure and success is not much more than the changes we choose to embrace from one moment to another, one day to another. —therightmessages.com


 

 

Feel free to share your experiences below with public speaking or goals you’re trying to reach–or just maybe you can relate to all this craziness.