And Now…Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Program – LIFE

In the interest of life balance and having time for spiritual reflection, here’s a piece about life balance and social media.

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The glitter covered black hole we call social media has slid its way into our hearts and homes, and we have welcomed it with open arms. Well, most of us, anyway. It introduced itself as something fresh, exciting, and full of potential. It became our communication, entertainment, relaxation, our eyes into parts of the world we couldn’t see; even a source of income. It was everything we needed in our new found relationship.

Then like any relationship, the true colors and intentions started to reveal themselves. Now there’s a decision that needs to be made by us. Do the negatives outweigh the positive? Are we willing to give our whole beings to this entity? Have we done so already?

You were born an original, Don’t die a copy – John Mason

There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.– Aristotle.

The understanding and meaning behind these philosophies have died with us. In this day and age between Instagram, reality tv shows, and going “viral,” everyone is becoming everyone else. We need to all have the same bodies, the same mindset, the same clothes. If you god forbid dare to be different, you’re not “in”; you’re lame, primarily, you’re not enough according to the younger population. A lot of people are generic while screaming authenticity. All while shaming and gossiping about those who are so bold as to just live, being themselves.

Social media has pulled the curtain over our eyes and told us the lights were off. There have been several cases where based off of what people have posted or said on Facebook or Twitter, someone else has ended up fighting, dead, or in the hospital. It was supposed to be an outlet for us to express ourselves without criticism or hate. Yet, the world we live is has turned that dream around and twisted it into something we can’t get rid of.

Everyone is watching everybody else and forgetting about loving themselves.

The negative side of social media has shown its horns while convincing people
that it simply comes with the territory. Humans are already fickle, to begin with, so we begin to make excuses. We have become slaves to what we see and hear. The way that we all in some way or form depend on our phones and apps as ways to escape our everyday reality is disheartening, but it is honest. With the media and social media, we are rarely given the opportunity to make a truthful decision for ourselves. Although I believe social media has its perks, it also can pit us against each other. It can pit us against ourselves and who we truly are. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and what we’re seeing is tainting us.

There should be a balance, we can’t let this outlet for communication and connection destroy our communication and connection to those around us. Social media has rudely interrupted our regularly scheduled program called “ Life’. It’s not just going to go away, but sometimes it’s good to put the phone or laptop away and read a book, go outside, talk to a stranger. There’s more to this cycle that we’re living. It’s time to live our lives, and not from behind a screen. Besides, it’s just social media.

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Written by Guest Contributor

Sydney Milton

Sydney profile PIC

My daughter Sydney is a professional stylist, a mom, and a student at Harold Washington College.

Be sure to share your comments below!

Being Hopeful, In Spite Of…

Hope doesn’t have to be found immediately but if I wait, I can FIND possibilities instead of dead ends

One of the scriptures that comes to mind during my struggles is Romans 5:3-4:

 knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

Continue reading “Being Hopeful, In Spite Of…”

Single and Stuck: Spiritual Authority and the Dating Game

As I’m working on additional interviews from adults who suffered under authoritarian spiritual leaders, I want to address singlehood under this type of leadership. For some time, I’ve wanted to write about the wrongs our young people face in the area of matrimony. images (7)

My oldest son, before he left for College, said, “Mom, I want to ask you something about your church?” Knowing my son, I knew it was not going to be an easy question. He’s one of those people that doesn’t say much but sees a lot. “Why are there so many single women unmarried? We’ve been there for nearly seven years at this church, and they are all still single? Are they not allowed to date anyone outside of the church?”

Continue reading “Single and Stuck: Spiritual Authority and the Dating Game”

Be Yourself

download 5Life’s journey is not always comfortable. Sometimes it’s challenging to learn about who we are, but it’s one of life’s highest goals.  

 Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote,

“to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to turn you into someone else is one of life’s greatest accomplishments.”

I’m taking a short break on this blog from talking about dysfunctional religion and the damage it can do to children only for a moment.  I just want to stop and celebrate my journey.  Recently, I got an opening to write a guest post about children in dysfunctional religious homes for the Child-Friendly Faith Project website. This organization works to help children who have suffered religious maltreatment.  I will continue to interview and research this subject and the results I see in my own religious circles.  I am glad that I’m able to help others whatever way  I can with my experience. Continue reading “Be Yourself”

Story #4 Continued – Live Interview-Story of Recovery from a Church of God childhood-Part 2

Well, we’re back with another portion of an interview conducted this year.   This is another portion of an earlier interview.  This person, who grew up in a fundamentalist Christian church, talks about why it was difficult for children in this performance-based religion, the church politics that created such a system,  the disruption caused by this system to her relationship with her family, and shame-based church disciplines.  I know for me and my family, it was damaging to hear over the pulpit that there is no favoritism in God’s church and that partiality was a sin, and then to see it all around you not from the lay members but the leadership.

Approx. 16 minutes, voices have been altered.