Single and Stuck: Spiritual Authority and the Dating Game

As I’m working on additional interviews from adults who suffered under authoritarian spiritual leaders, I want to address singlehood under this type of leadership. For some time, I’ve wanted to write about the wrongs our young people face in the area of matrimony. images (7)

My oldest son, before he left for College, said, “Mom, I want to ask you something about your church?” Knowing my son, I knew it was not going to be an easy question. He’s one of those people that doesn’t say much but sees a lot. “Why are there so many single women unmarried? We’ve been there for nearly seven years at this church, and they are all still single? Are they not allowed to date anyone outside of the church?”

Continue reading “Single and Stuck: Spiritual Authority and the Dating Game”

UPSTAIRS DOWNSTAIRS CHURCH STRUCTURE

downloadI began to wonder as I looked around my church if I was in an episode of  Upstairs/Downstairs?  Is there a servant class and an upper class.  There are the ministers and then the lowly people who can only speak a certain way to the leaders etc.  We went one day when our pastor was sick to visit and one person exclaimed  in wonder and awe of his position, “how do I encourage my pastor”.    I bristled at this ( not visibly) but I thought “the same way you would anyone else who was sick”.  Somehow we’ve got it twisted that a Pastor is someone other just a man or woman who are kept by God like we are by the same Spirit.images

A reader of this blog reminded me of another essential reason abusiveness happens in our American churches, and that is an incorrect church structure. The church is supposed to be comprised of many members who make up the body of Christ. I Corinthians 12 gives us a picture of God’s church and the balance that’s supposed to happen in the body. This is the opposite of pastoral authoritarianism.  I think incorrect church structure is a breeding ground for corrupt leadership. Whenever we fail to follow scripture in any area, we’ll suffer some negative consequences. If the Pastor constitutes all the decisions and all of the leadership, then that is not the scriptural definition of the body of Christ. Continue reading “UPSTAIRS DOWNSTAIRS CHURCH STRUCTURE”

Story#2 – Just Call Me Daddy (Audio Interview Part 1)

This is an interview with a former member of a Church of God nondenominational congregation.  I have altered the voices and deleted names and locations.

This is a 2017 interview with a former member of a Church of God nondenominational congregation.  I have altered the voices and deleted important names and locations.  This person tells their experience of being a new convert under an increasingly oppressive Pastor. Continue reading “Story#2 – Just Call Me Daddy (Audio Interview Part 1)”