Realize that you are dealing with grief–plain and simple. Leaving means loss. Loss of friends, reputation in the community, innocence, community, and definitely time. Don’t minimize the trauma involved in exiting and don’t minimize the loss you feel.
Here are a few methods to heal from the anxiety of leaving a toxic, high-control fundamentalist group. Remember that spirituality has to be based on our personal relationship and walk with God and not just the practices and performance of a particular religion or even a feeling.
Well, we’re back with another portion of an interview conducted this year. This is another portion of an earlier interview. This person, who grew up in a fundamentalist Christian church, talks about why it was difficult for children in this performance-based religion, the church politics that created such a system, the disruption caused by this system to her relationship with her family, and shame-based church disciplines. I know for me and my family, it was damaging to hear over the pulpit that there is no favoritism in God’s church and that partiality was a sin, and then to see it all around you not from the lay members but the leadership.
When it comes to religion, I’ve learned to never confuse love for God with following man-made rules. It can get confusing, especially if you’re taught that following God and adhering to rules are one and the same. You want to respect a person’s title, position or rules but there are boundaries and precise lines that you must draw to avoid practicing any religion with the wrong mindset, and silence about wrongdoing should never be part of that mindset. Continue reading “What Causes Silence?”