5 Signs of Religious Addiction

Here I am, asking Jesus to fix it again. This blog is about spiritual awareness. I decided to write this when I was talking to my husband the other day, as I go through this phase of spiritual awareness in my life. The first phase was many years ago when my religious naiveté wore off and I realized that everyone who called themselves a bible believing, born again, hymnal-carrying “church of God” Christians was not one.

Here I am,  asking Jesus to fix it again. This blog is about spiritual awareness.  I decided to write this when I was talking to my husband the other day, as I go through this phase of spiritual awareness in my life.  The first phase was many years ago when my religious naiveté wore off and I realized that everyone who called themselves a bible believing, born again,  hymnal-carrying “church of God” Christians was not one.  Back then, I was comforted by the Lord when he encouraged me to focus on Him alone.  I realized that you can’t make other people do right, you’re only responsible for your own life in Christ. Continue reading “5 Signs of Religious Addiction”

The Fruit of the “Apology”

In relationships, when you are trying to recover and heal, the pain is real. Opening yourself up to pain can have good and lasting effects. My husband always said, “Look at the fruit”.

pain makes you strongerIn relationships, when you are trying to recover and heal, the pain is real.  Opening yourself up to pain can have good and lasting effects.  My husband always said, “Look at the fruit”.   I ‘m glad to say that the fruit of my apology to my daughter has been awesome.  Even though she and I suffered a deep hurt, we are bouncing back with a vengeance.

My daughter and I talked again last week.  She was on her way to school.  I told her about the article, and she brightened up and said “Oh yeah? Look at you!”, in the way she often does like she’s the parent teaching the child.  She seemed as happy for me getting that off my chest as I was, about her forgiving me.

I noticed something, and it was a big something.  The tension between us was gone.  That unsaid weight that can hang over a relationship.  She accepted me and I accepted her.  She understood me, and I understood her.  Between us had stood an invisible wall that we laughed around, had dinner around, shopped around, and played around, but it stood there, unmoving, solid and stoic.  I had tried to tear it down many years ago, but so many bricks had been laid, some of which I had no idea how they got there.   While I was laboring for God, it was like someone came in the middle of the night and had created a whole house around us and rooms in between.   I had to go and find out what room my daughter was in.  Not an easy task.

It hurt me that I had let that happen.  I am not a person that often cares what people think of me, if I believe in what I am doing or hey, just don’t want to do it.  But in this circle, in this realm of religion, it seemed I was weak.  When I was not a Christian, I could be in a room full of people smoking weed and if I didn’t want to do any, I could stand my ground.  Back then, it wasn’t really on any moral ground. I just wasn’t interested.   Now why, when it came to religion did I crumble to other peoples’ opinion of my child?  Why couldn’t I just stay focused on what God was telling me as an individual?

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I beat myself up about that but only for a “minute” though, because I know that it doesn’t do any good.

I know that when a woman wants to shed the past and make changes, so many times, we go for our hair.  My daughter had been talking about cutting her hair for a while, not just for style, but mostly because she wanted to re-grow her hair and start over.  She’s in beauty school, so her teacher fixed her up and she has suuuper-short hair now.  Her teacher said, “Girl, you’ve got to have confidence to wear your hair like that!”   Now, some people may not look well on that, but I see past the outward of what she did.

 She has confidence.

When she first came by the house, she’d did a self-cut.

I said, “oh wow, I wasn’t expecting that but you should get your teacher to line it up right and smooth out the look”.

I told her how pretty she was.  She’s grown, she can do what she wants.

She has a beautiful face, so there’s nothing she could do that would detract from that.  I wasn’t going to say anything negative after our bond had been restored, nor did I feel compelled to.

The first place you learn how valuable or special you are is at home, from your parents.  If that not given, it’s hard to have good self-esteem.

I have seen her confidence in herself blossom, and that’s what’s important.

When an apology from the heart is given, healing on both sides can come quickly.

 

me and sydney

 

 

 

Follow-Up to the “Apology”

I didn’t expect the outpour of response from the prior September 5th post, but I appreciate the feedback. As a blogger, I simply wanted others to know that this was a much-needed catharsis for me. This is a real-life continuation to me of a prior article on this blog on the Prison of Perfectionism. To those that have written me privately out their pain. I’m sure if your parents had felt freer in doing so, it would have led them to support their own parental instincts in raising you.

dont forget the teachingI didn’t expect the outpour of response from the prior September 5th post, but I appreciate the feedback. As a blogger, I simply wanted others to know that this was a much-needed catharsis for me. This is a  real-life continuation to me of a prior article on this blog on the Prison of Perfectionism.  I am still healing from the many layers God is pulling back in my life to move me forward in my ministry.  To those that have written me privately out their pain. I’m sure if your parents had felt freer in doing so, it would have led them to support their own parental instincts in raising you. Continue reading “Follow-Up to the “Apology””

The Advantage of the Long Road

Problems drag on and on in our lives, and it’s a challenge to keep your head up.As circumstances begin to play out in a comedy of errors, mishaps, and (sigh) waiting for the wind to blow the sails, the temptation to look at how long a situation is taking becomes overwhelming.

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Don’t be discouraged.  Problems can drag on and on in our lives, and I know, it’s a challenge to keep your head up.  How often do we sit through just an excruciatingly long speech, or movie and even though it may be good, it’s a natural inclination to say, “hey, how much longer is this speech going to be anyway?”  And whether this question is asked out of frustration or just pure curiosity, we feel justified in asking. We as humans live in the realm of time and we get mighty concerned about our time here, as we should.  As circumstances begin to play out in a comedy of errors, mishaps, and (sigh) waiting for the wind to blow the sails, the temptation to look at how long a situation is taking becomes overwhelming. Continue reading “The Advantage of the Long Road”

Violence + Injustice = Time to Pray

A man was at home on a Sunday watching a football game. His young son was with him, but the boy was being pesky and bothersome and the man wanted to watch the game in peace. So to keep the boy occupied, he took a page out of the newspaper with a picture of the world, tore it into small pieces and gave it to his son, telling him to put the puzzle together.

If I dwell too long on recent events, I would probably be so depressed that I couldn’t function.  This week marks the one month anniversary of the Orlando shootings where 49 people lost their lives in a senseless act of hatred.  The happenings of the past month: Orlando, St. Paul, Baton Rouge, Dallas, and yesterday’s tragedy in Nice, France, spell out a string of hateful,violent, back- to-back incidents that I’ve rarely seen rolled together in my lifetime, except during wartime.  Violence seems to be everywhere–harsh and sudden.

When we see this much violence and destruction it’s time to pray. Continue reading “Violence + Injustice = Time to Pray”