Charting A New Path

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“Often a sign of expertise is noticing what doesn’t happen.”Malcolm Gladwell, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking

When I first read this quote, it was amazing to me the truth of this statement. The ability to notice what’s missing can be instinctive, but in life, it takes learning by experience to become expert at what’s missing. Suppose a man wines and dines a woman and does all the right things to court her. It would seem that he says all the “I loves you’s” at the right time and calls when he says he will. Then he always has the perfect explanation for why he didn’t call or didn’t pick you up that time he was supposed. Other than those times, he’s thoughtful and considerate. No big deal right? He just seems perfect. Would you believe the woman in this relationship if she said, “But something is wrong.” Continue reading “Charting A New Path”

Our Actions Reveal Our Character

“The real me isn’t the person I describe, no the real me is me revealed by my actions.”

― Malcolm Gladwell, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking

Assessing the Problem

How many times in relationships and life have we ignored people’s actions and tried to ascribe to them a better attribute than they deserve? Maybe they’re busy, perhaps they didn’t really mean what they said, or I know this person just lied to me, but maybe they misspoke. A detective in a documentary said one time that to ignore coincidence after coincidence is just plain stupid. When people act childish, manipulative, jealous or hateful. There is no mistake.

And that’s the hard part, isn’t it? It’s not that we don’t recognize these character flaws, we try to believe the best about people and unintentionally blind ourselves refusing to accept what we know in our heart of hearts. Continue reading “Our Actions Reveal Our Character”